Multitasking.

How many times have you heard people talk about how great women are at multitasking and how men can only manage one thing at a time? Too many to count right?

Well, I’m calling bullshit. Big time.

There is no such thing as multitasking. Sure you can do two things at once, but one of two things will happen:

a) you’ll do a half-assed job of both

or

b) it’ll stress you right the fuck out.

Worst case scenario, but worryingly the most likely, is that you’ll do a half-assed job and end up stressed out.

Here’s an unpopular opinion: women have created and perpetuated this myth that we can ‘multi-task’ in a world where there’s very little for us to claim pole position in. So, we made up multitasking and pretended it was a good thing.

In reality, it’s not. We now do it because we feel we should. That’s our badge of honour. We can cook dinner and teach the kids their spellings. We can do the laundry and be on a conference call. We can have a conversation and make sure our kids are safe in the playground. Or can we? Really? When you really think about it…does doing anything this way make you feel accomplished and brilliant or does it make you feel anxious and stressed and snappy?

It makes me feel anxious and stressed and snappy. I realised a while ago that I was always trying to do too many things at the same time. My husband was always able to be way more patient than me, way less explosive, much calmer. How? Why? Well, because he only did one thing at a time.

If he was with the kids, he was with the kids. He didn’t try to work. If a work call came in, he’d say, “I need to call you back this evening when I don’t have the kids. Is that ok?” Granted, he’s a bloke and the reality is he wouldn’t be penalised in the same way as a woman if she dared to utter a sentence like this to her boss, but the principle remains: multitasking is not necessarily a good or healthy thing.

It’s not easy to pull back from either. I struggle to do one thing at a time. I feel like I’m wasting time. It makes me feel anxious but I’m trying to focus and stay away from work where possible when I’m with the kids. Of course it isn’t always possible, so on those occasions I will actively remind myself: This isn’t an ideal situation. Doing two things at once is stressful. Remember that. What can I do to make it easier?

(Answer: give the kids a screen while I have to do the conference call and not feel guilty about it.)

So let’s stop talking about multitasking as if it’s a badge of honour. Let’s stop encouraging people to pile more on us than we can handle because, it’s ok, we can multitask! It’s not a positive state of mind to have to be in for a long time and I’m guessing we all are feeling the effects of that after the last 18 months.

Here’s how I try to handle it: each night, I sit down and write down what I have to do the next day. Then I decide what is absolutely URGENT for tomorrow and what can be done later. After that, I plan my day and it might look like this:

6.00am - Get up and walk before kids awake and Jimmy goes out to work. If you lie in, accept that you may not get a walk in today.

8.00am - Jimmy out of the door.

8-10.30am - Be with the kids (inspo boards, chores, no screens)

10.30-12pm - WORK (kids can have tv and screens)

12pm - Lunch then out to the park.

2.30pm - Home & work (kids can have screens if they want)

3.30pm - FREEPLAY (no screens…try and work but be aware that they may not let you!)

4.30pm - CHALLENGE (make a list of things kids have to find and collect in a basket in a certain time frame. Then they have to arrange them into a still life and draw them.)

5.30pm - Dinner

6pm - Work (Screens/Freeplay)

7pm - Bath

7.30pm - Bed

8pm - Lights out

8pm - Work (I’ll set one task to complete for this session and then rest/go to bed)

Doing this really helps me stay focussed because I know that I’ve tried to make time for everything. Of course, things happen to fuck up my perfect plan, and I have to take a hot minute to readjust my expectations, but this has really helped on those days when I have to work and Jimmy is out.

So, fuck multitasking. Fuck doing it all at the same time. Fuck pretending to be wonder women. Let’s be human. Let’s be honest. Let’s commit to one thing at a time and smash the shit out of it.

Deal?