Fake.

I was called ‘fake’ on instagram this morning. Yesterday I posted a reel saying that every body was a bikini body. I grabbed my belly bits and gave my butt bits a wobble. Someone called me ‘fake’ because, in their opinion, I apparently looked too good to be spreading that message.

And here’s the problem. This comment came from a woman who believed she could tell me how I should feel about my body. It also came from a woman who’s been indoctrinated, as well all have, to rate bodies based on what is socially acceptable and therefore better and what is considered ‘unattractive’.

She wasn’t being mean. She even put a kiss at the end of her comment but it was problematic because she didn’t realise the toxic stereotypes that she was playing in to and she didn’t realise the effect that her words would have on me. I read her comment and went through self-doubt, insecurity, anger, annoyance and understanding all in the space of a minute.

Because here’s the thing: the point of that reel was that the only opinion that matters about whether your body looks good in a bikini is your own. And almost 100k of you totally understood that. The woman that commented thought my body was ‘socially acceptable’ and therefore thought I wasn’t in a position to say anything about body confidence. But there will have been thousands of women smaller than me, more toned than me who will have felt differently my grabbable wobbly bits.

Every woman will have insecurities about their body no matter the size and if that woman finds the strength to put those insecurities aside and wear the shorts, or the bikini, or the crop top then raise that queen up any way you can. Don’t make a judgement call about what her confidence level should be based on beauty standards built up over years by male-led businesses and organisations that want to sell you magic potions and solutions for lots of money. We’re all better than that.

So, the only acceptable response, when you see a woman acting like a badass, all confident and comfortable with her body and in her style, is to stop her in the street, or write her a note that says, ‘You look fucking amazing.’