Pause.

Did you know that choosing to stand still, to press pause on something, to not make a decision about something, is also an active decision? It’s not dithering. It’s not indecision. It’s not lazy. It’s not failure. It’s an empowered choice you make to give yourself time and breathing space.

We are often operating under the impression that we have to make a decision and if we don’t make a decision then we’re not bold or confident, that we’re lost. But choosing to pause and not make a decision is also a very valid decision too.

We are under an overwhelming amount of pressure right now; more than ever. We are ploughing on regardless of the toll it takes, regardless of the ever increasing weight of the burden, and that’s never a great emotional position from which to make good decisions. But we feel we must. Effective adults are decisive and certain, right? Wrong. Effective adults are intuitive, gentle on themselves, self-aware enough to know when they don’t know.

Not knowing isn’t about a lack of anything (education, experience, skill, talent); not knowing just means you haven’t got all the information and if you haven’t got all the information then you need to give yourself time to get it and understand it. If you don’t pause, you’ll find yourself making impulsive decisions, jumping from one thing to the next, no plan, a sense of ever-increasing desperation growing as you realise that no decision seems to be the right decision.

Well, I’m here to tell you, you can press pause. Time is yours to make into whatever you need and if you need a hot minute to pause so that you can figure out what you’re really feeling, thinking and wanting, then press that pause button. The more pressure you put on yourself to make the right decision, the more that decision will elude you.

Because decisions aren’t about thoughts, they are about feelings. We have been conditioned to believe that we can think our way through a decision, but we can’t. We have to feel our way through a decision. Sometimes, it’s an instant revelation and easy decision but more often than not it’s more complicated than that and it takes time.

So, pause. Take that decision off the table completely. Push back any deadlines. Tell people they have to wait. The world will not end and the sky will not fall. The right decision will always become clear to you when you stop pressuring yourself to make a choice that you’re just not ready to do.

Give yourself time and hit pause.