Managing My Anxiety

It’s no secret - my anxiety is out of control at the moment. There is no rhyme or reason to it; I don’t know why it’s flared up. Sure, there are things going on in my life that are definitely stress triggers, but stress isn’t anxiety and while I’m sure it’s linked, I’ve dealt with stressful situations in the past without succumbing to anxiety. Whatever the reason, it’s here and I’m going to have to figure it out.

Like everything else in my life, I’m dealing with it by writing a list. Two lists in fact, and I thought I’d share those with you in case it might help.

The first list is my general plan of attack. While I’m currently in crisis, what tactics do I have that will help me get myself back together. The second list is a list of things I need to do more or and things I need to do less of to help prevent the anxiety from flaring up again.

List 1: Plan of Attack
1. Manage Calendar: Strip back anything that isn’t necessary or doesn’t bring joy. Cancel all things that are adding to my stress, making me over-busy or feel anxious.
2. Manage work hours: I’m a creature of habit and it’s stresses me out if I don’t know that I’ve got enough time to do the work that I need to do. Define exactly what my work hours are and stick to them.
3. Carve out clear time off: I’ve tried to take a day off every week but inevitably it gets eaten up with kids or work. I know I need a day, in my house, without my kids to catch up on life admin and so, Friday is that day.
4. Exercise: How can I fit this in? What does it have to look like? What do I enjoy doing that isn’t a chore?
5. Sleep: Get more of this.

When I look back at this, I realise that it’s all about time. It’s all about managing my time more coherently. Part of may anxiety comes from the constant and overwhelming nagging that there is so much to do and not enough time. Actually, when I look at it, what I see is that in my stress and anxiety, I actually stop using my time efficiently. I lose perspective and start to panic making it very difficult for me to complete a task, keep a list of things to do straight in my head. I become inefficient and that terrifies me. When I stop, assess and strip everything back to Work, Rest, Family, I can start to breathe again and see the gaps.

List 2: The Dos and Don’ts
While I’ve called them Dos and Don’ts, I don’t want to be too prescriptive about it. What I really mean is that there are things I should be doing MORE of and things I should be doing LESS of because I know that, for me, there are things that make it harder and harder for me to manage my anxiety.

Do less of…
1. Social Media
2. Drinking
3. Watching TV
4. Late nights
5. Unnecessary events/socialising
6. Binge eating
7. Smoking
8. Emotional shopping

Do more of…
1. Sleep
2. Exercise
3. Eat well
4. Read books
5. Call friends
6. Write
7. Say no
8. Ask for help

It’s not an exhaustive list and, as I said, it’s not about NOT doing any of the things in the right hand list, but it’s about rediscovering a balance. I know when my mental health is failing me because I know I end up wasting sleep hours by watching hours and hours straight of TV. My drinking increases, I go back to the occasional cigarette, and I’m scrolling scrolling scrolling through social media. Sometimes I can recognise those as ‘symptoms’ and stop it in its tracks. This time I wasn’t able to do that and that’s ok. If this doesn’t work, I’ll take the next step which is to see my doctor and discuss medication. I’m already in therapy, so that’s helping too but occasionally that isn’t enough and if I have to go back to the meds, then that’s what I have to do. There’s no shame.

I hope that, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, this helps a little. I’m by no means suggesting that this is the cure to your problems, but sometimes it helps to get a little insight into how others try to make this stuff work. Of course, if you are really struggling and can’t see a way to get past it, or manage it, then please, PLEASE talk to someone. There are a million helplines, support groups and of course, your doctor but also, sometimes just telling a friend, or mentioning it to your partner, or even saying it out loud to your cat until you find the courage to say it to a human…all of these things are important.