WHY WE MUST USE OUR GIRL GANG POWER FOR GOOD

Girls...we're a tricky breed. Put a bunch of us in a room together and it will either be the best, most inspiring and heartwarming night of your life, or it'll be a Hunger-Games-style, fight to the death, bitch-fest. It's a sad but true fact that, for some reason, the female of the species have been socially programmed to be, at best, wary of each other and, at worst, downright suspicious and mistrustful. I have a theory about this and, listen up, because I genuinely believe it's life changing. It's the root of all our problems. I have no doubt that way back in the age of fur-pelt fashion and club-shaped accessories, society started to pit women against each other with a 'divide and conquer' agenda. It was a primitive and (let's give them the benefit of the doubt) probably sub-conscious move that was nothing short of a stroke of patriarchal genius. You see, those with penises, took one look at the power of woman and realised they needed to keep that shit under control. What better way to do it than to pit us against each other? Since then, we've been left to fight amongst ourselves and frankly, I believe that at times we've been so busy busting each others breast-balls that we've undermined the power of our collective strength. If the 'patriarchy' was secretly meeting up in some cigar-filled room and greeting each other with secret handshakes, they'd probably be laughing at us. "Don't worry lads," they'd say. "These women are too busy fighting and bitching and competing amongst themselves that we're in no danger of being usurped."

And they'd be right. So you see, that's why we all need a girl gang. I'm not implying that your girl gang will take over the world, or overthrow the patriarchal society that dominates or even be responsible for gender equality across the social spectrum but it might be a start. We need to identify our girl gang and make it work for us, rather than 'them'. No more mean girls. No more bitch-fests. Find your squad and set the rules:

1. We're here for each other no matter what.
2. This is a safe place where you can be emotionally vulnerable and honest.
3. We're kind to each other at all times.
4. We want to laugh until we cry, or sometimes just cry until we laugh.
5. Drink together.

And it doesn't matter what your girl gang looks like. It could be two of you or twenty of you. What's important is that you have another woman on your side that's got your back. It's a bloody powerful thing and girl-on-girl relationships (yep, they've even made THAT sound dirty) will imbue you with a strength and confidence that, honestly, no relationship with a man, even your chosen boy-shaped person, can.

And guess what? Girl gangs don't have to be mean. They don't have to be intimidating or exclusive. It's not a negative thing to have a group of women that you call your own. It doesn't mean that you can't be nice or welcoming or respectful of other women, right? Somewhere along the line, a group of female friends has become a negative, intimidating, terrifying thing. It's just uber-effective propaganda to prevent us from joining forces and kicking ass.

Find your gang. Make it a nice gang full of love for each other and kindness for every woman. Sit back and watch the magic happen. They'll be your cheerleaders, your support team, your voice of reason. When things are shit, they'll send you strength, wine and amusing pictures of trees that look like penises, or naked guinea pigs or oversized veg. Really. They'll do that, just for you because they'll know that you'll laugh out loud even if you're on public transport during rush hour and your nose is stuck in someone's armpit.

Put simply, women need women to thrive. Let's call bullshit on this 'divide and conquer' tactic that's worked so well for so long. Let's find our gang, build each other up, spread the love and, well, take over the world.

OK?