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Letter To My First-Born

Dear Billie,

It’s been a little rough for you recently. You think I haven’t noticed but I have. You don’t yet have the words to full explain why you feel immensely pissed off a lot of the time, but don’t worry babe. I understand and I’m sorry. Continue reading

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WHY ONE BUGGY IS NEVER ENOUGH

So you’re pregnant for the first time and amongst many of the decisions you have to make, the buggy decision is probably one of the biggest. And the most fun. I mean, show me a mama-to-be who doesn’t spend most of her time googling buggies, asking friends with kids for their advice, assessing every buggy they walk past in the street. Oh yes, us mamas love us a good buggy. Continue reading

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THE DAY SHIZZLE GOT REAL…

OK, so I’m at that point in pregnancy where I’m done. I’m over it. I’m hating almost every moment I have to spend being pregnant. My husband isn’t just sick of hearing me whinge, moan, groan and creak with every movement, he’s also questioning my desire for another baby. Apart from the fact that it’s a bit bloody late to be asking those questions, I’m not whingeing about the baby. I’m whingeing about the pregnancy. I’m like a four year old staring into the oven waiting (not so) patiently for the cake to be cooked. I can’t bloody WAIT for the baby to come but the cooking bit? Stick a motherfunking fork in me; I’m done. Continue reading

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WHO IS // LITTLE HOT DOG WATSON

I first met Emma at a Mother’s Meeting Business Club. Little Hot Dog Watson hadn’t yet been launched but she was well on her way to creating a beautifully branded product that no one else was offering. Which, let’s face it, is all you need. Fast forward a few months and Emma (and her company) are killing it. The Little Hot Dog Watson sunhat has become this seasons MUST HAVE accessory for all Smalls in the sunshine. With innovative technology (including mosquito repellent…Not. Even. Joking) Little Hot Dog Watson is making staying ‘sun safe’ easy and oh, so cool. We’re delighted to be featuring Emma on the blog today and finding out who is Little Hot Dog Watson.

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WHY THE FUNK DO I DO IT?

Whenever I meet up with friends they always ask me how the blog is going, which is nice of them. And then, just like clockwork, the second question out of their mouth is, ‘Do you make any money from it?’ Once I’ve picked myself up off the floor and stopped laughing deliriously, I explain that no, I simply do it because, well, I like it. It’s probably 45% because I love writing, 45% because I’m a total narcissist and the last 10% is all about the vain hope that someone reading it, somewhere, feels a little better about themselves and this parenting lark because something I said resonated with them.  Continue reading

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WHY I’M GETTING BIRTH BODY READY (AND WHY MY HUSBAND WON’T SHAVE MY VAGINA)

I gave up worrying about whether I was beach-body ready a long time ago. It’s not that I don’t care about how I look in a bikini; fear not, I’m riddled with all the usual insecurities about flabby bits, cellulite, stretch marks, varicose veins and rogue hairs. It’s just that somehow time runs away from me and before I know it I’m on the plane home and I still haven’t tackled any of the above. So, beach body? Whatever….I’ve got more important shit on my plate (like carbs, and chocolate). But, when it comes to my birth-body? Well, that’s a different story. Continue reading

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HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER WHEN PREGNANT IN ONE SIMPLE STEP

Don’t worry; I’m keeping this one short and sweet but I did feel compelled to write something just in case I can help any fellow pregnant women out there who have to brave the zoo that is public transport. It can be a veritable war zone out there battling through harried commuters who are plugged into electronic devices striding determinedly down narrow walkways without a care in the world. This total disregard for the small human that you’re busily growing inside you can wind even the most placid of mamas-to-be up into a frenzied puddle of angry hormones but, here’s the thing: your pregnancy isn’t everyone’s first priority and how much can we really blame perfect strangers for not holding your impending bundle of joy in the forefronts of their mind? Continue reading

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HOW TO AVOID BEING A MUM WHO’S A BIT OF A DICK

In good news, parenting is a rapidly changing landscape. Generally speaking, over the last two years there’s been a revolution amongst mothers in particular that has seen them embrace the sisterhood over the motherhood. We’re not lending our support to women because they’re mothers as much as we’re lending our support to women because they are women. That means we’re spending less time defining them by the kind of mother they are and the way they choose to parent and more time celebrating the fact that, as women, we are all in this together and frankly, we need all the love, support, good vibes and fanny power we can get.  Continue reading

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DUMPED BY MY CLEANER & OTHER MIDDLE CLASS PROBLEMS

Yesterday, I was dumped by my cleaner. By text. The shame. I wouldn’t mind except that she was the only cleaner I’ve ever had that cleaned my house like I would. Yes, she was completely unreliable and, despite the fact that she only came once a fortnight (which was more like once a month by the time she cancelled and rescheduled), I held on to her because, well, cleaning my house just once a month is probably more than I would do left to my own devices. Anyway, it’s all moot now – she’s dumped me. I’m 34 weeks pregnant and cleanerless. As far as middle class problems go, it’s definitely up there.  Continue reading