WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP HITS A BRICK WALL?

Imagine that kids are ivy and a your relationship is a brick wall. The ivy grows on the wall and it all looks beautiful, but look a little closer and the ivy is slowly but surely undermining the solid structure that once stood. Ivy can have a devastating effect on bricks and mortar, no matter how strong it once stood and the arrival of kids can really put even the best of relationships under serious strain. Continue reading

WHAT MUMS NEED FROM LOVE…

Love is a tricky thing. It has so many faces – sure it’s spiky and fizzy at first and then it becomes exclusive, deep, powerful. After a while, it becomes more homely, more casual – more like a favourite pair of joggers than a pair of erection-inducing heels. Of course, there are still erections…just not as many of them. The point is, what love feels like changes all the time but how you show love should remain the same, all the time. Continue reading

I DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT MARRIAGE BUT…

Remember those fairy tale movies we all saw which ended with a beautiful princess-to-be walking down the aisle to marry her prince? Remember how, despite our niggling voice of realism, we all kind of looked forward to the day when we would get our own fairytale? I mean however your vision of your fairytale looked, the end result was still the same. We all (more or less) thought we’d end up marrying the love of our life and, as the old saying goes, live happily ever after. Continue reading

WHY MY MARRIAGE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY KIDS

It seems obvious to me but sometimes I look around and I wonder whether I’m weird. I’ll be honest, my husband thought I was weird at first too but this is what I believe: my marriage is more important than my kids. I’m not suggesting I love my kids less than I love my husband. I’m not sure any love for a human that you didn’t heave out of your fanny can come even close to that instinctive, overwhelming, unconditional love you feel for your kids but that’s kind of the point. Right? Continue reading

I WANNA SEX YOU UP (BUT I’M A BIT TIRED)

How hard is sex these days?! I mean really. I’m amazed that anyone ever has another baby. Not because of the crying or the lack of cash or sleep but because finding time and energy to have actual real-life sex is so, so, so hard. Deciding to have sex is like waking up at 6.00am, hearing the rain piss down outside, anxiously checking the monitor and breathing a sigh of relief when the Small is still sleeping and thinking, “I know, I’ll get up and go for a run.” It’s just that, when you’re so tired and busy and well, really really tired, there’s just a million other things to do first. Continue reading

RESENTMENT IS POISON

Resentment is a pretty damn dangerous emotion to give in to but one that, as parents, we inevitably have to deal with at some point, on some level. Some very selfless people may be able to banish any resentful thoughts as soon as they raise their ugly little heads, but most of us fall victim to this insidious little soul-worm occasionally. Continue reading

ONE AND ALL

I’m not a single parent. I’ve spent a significant chunk of parenthood without my husband, but I’m not a single parent. At the end of a long day or week or a long month without my other half I can rest easy in the knowledge that, at some point, my husband will be home; at some point, the troops will arrive; at some point this marathon will end.

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Married To Music…Five Years On

When I was but a lowly ‘girlfriend’ and not a wife or a mother or a mortgage holder, I wrote a blog about what it was like being with a musician. This blog is five years old now but as I’ve just waved my husband off on tour until the end of September, it all still rings creepily and eerily true. Of course, we didn’t have a baby then and that adds a whole new, crazy, bonkers dimension to it but essentially this is what being married to music is really like. Continue reading