I bet most of us have wondered at some point or another whether this year will ever end. Somehow, 2021 has managed in many ways to be more of a doozy than 2020 and that’s saying something. What I’m not going to do is wish you all the most wonderful 2022 - none of us want to push our luck in that way; the years seem jinxed enough already lately - but what I will tell you is the one mantra I’m going to live by in the upcoming year.

‘Would you rather be right or happy?’

Annoyingly, I can’t take the credit for this. My husband says this to me all the time - although fortunately for him (and his balls) not when the fight is between the two of us. When I’m annoyed, pissed off, feeling self-righteous and lambasting someone for behaving in a way that I truly believe to my core is unjust or wrong, or unfair or unkind…my husband will look me dead in the eye and say, Would you rather be right or happy?

And every time, it stops me in my tracks because that’s what it comes down to. My choices are either:

a) be right: fight the fight. Spend my energy trying to manage someone else’s feelings and beliefs in the vain hope that it will make me feel better. Project, project project. Focus on the crappy things someone else has said or done. Wind myself up. Create tension, drama, anxiety.

or

b) be happy: take a deep breath. Forget them and focus on me. Assess my part in any interaction. Stay in my lane and keep my side of the road clean. Provide my own closure. Let it fucking go.

This year, I choose to be happy. I choose to preserve my fucks. To hold them close and not give them out to any douchebag with a bad attitude because they don’t deserve it. I choose to go for a walk, talk to myself, get it all out and come back ready to move the fuck on. I cannot and will not spend anymore energy or time trying to convince someone else that I am right. Why? Not because it’s not worth it or because they won’t listen. Nope.

I’m not going to do it because I can’t be and, am not, responsible for someone else’s growth or journey; I am only responsible for my own. My job is not to teach and lecture; my job is to shut out the noise and turn my lessons on myself.

So, here’s to 2022. A year where, instead of focusing my gaze on what others are or are not doing; I’m turning that gaze on myself. With precise scrutiny, I am going to hold only myself responsible and do the work to make me a better human.

See you on the other side.

Happy New Year.

C x