I’ve been criticised and praised in equal measure for being as open as I am about what a lot of people would consider private. Here’s what I think: I think we’ve been taught to hide things that may make us seem anything less than perfect. I think a lot of us hide behind ‘privacy’ when really it’s a fear of vulnerability. I’ve done that. You probably have too.

That being said, there are of course things that you have a right to keep private but my question this morning is this: is there something you’re keeping ‘private’ out of fear? Is there something you’re keeping ‘private’ because you’re worried that, if someone were to find out, they would think less of you?

I have discussed my struggles to bond with my kid, my mental health issues. I’ve talked about the fact that my marriage almost failed. I never stop talking about how I fuck up as a mother on a daily basis and, on Saturday at 8pm, I’ll be doing a live about the scariest thing I’ve ever opened up about. (Don’t worry! I’ll save it to the grid!)

Some members of my extended family and friends often question why I put it all out there on the internet. Some have got quite aggressive in their criticism. They present it as ‘concern for me’ but I know what it really is. I’ve tickled their trigger bone and, while I can’t be sure, I think there’s an element of resentment. I think often people want to be able to open up, to get something out, to talk, to shout about something that their worried about, struggling with or in pain from and when they see someone do just that, it’s hard.

But, let’s forget about them for a bit. I want to tell you why I talk about all this stuff. It’s not all selfless! First of all, it really helps me to talk about it. It helps me to get it out there and to hear what you all have to say in response. Sure, it’s nice to get support but it’s even cooler to hear that I am not the only one. It’s wonderful to hear your stories and your shares and in reading those I know that I’m not just helping myself but I’m helping some of you guys too. And you’re helping me.

I know that some of you have told me things you’ve never uttered to anyone else and I can sense the relief you feel in saying it out loud and that’s what I’m not just ok with sharing my own flaws, fuck ups and problems; I love doing it. Instagram is full of a lot of shit - I’ve been responsible for some of it - but the magic really happens in my DMs.

There’s a reason 12-step programmes are anonymous. There’s a reason they are based on the principle of sharing. There’s a reason they are open to everyone no matter what colour, creed, social status, gender, sexuality, religion. Because, at the end of the day, there are no problems, issues or fuck ups that are unique to one person. No one is that special. If you think you’ve fucked up beyond repair, then have a word with yourself. You’re special but you’re not that special. There’s no fuck up that’s totally unique to you. It’s been done before; it’s been fixed before. People have come through the same shit as you before and thrived.

Just knowing that can help ease the load but the only way you’re ever going to really know that is if you speak out, share and release that shit.

Cat x