Oh ho ho ho. Christmas is just around the corner and I don’t know about you but I need a bit more bloody balance in the messaging around the festive season.

There’s lots of proselytising around this time of year about loving your fellow man, not putting yourself first, helping the needy and focusing on being charitable. Now, I’d be a special kind of see-you-next-Tuesday if I tried to convince you that these were all damaging epithets that we should ignore.

Of course they’re not and of course we shouldn’t…right? But I’d like to add that doing all these things are important except when you put yourself at risk of physical or mental harm in doing so.

Thinking of others, being charitable and all that stuff is not supposed to drive you into the ground. It’s not supposed to compromise your own needs and wants. It’s not supposed to be a sacrificial act that sees you drown as someone pushes you under to reach the life boat first. But somehow, at some point, that caveat has been missed.

Well, we’re not missing that caveat anymore. We’re shouting it from the rooftops and making it ok for you to say, ‘No, I’m sorry I can’t,’ if you know it’s going to do harm to you in some way. And what’s more, you don’t need to qualify that no. You don’t need to explain yourself, or justify your decision. You get to protect yourself when you know you need it - no ifs, buts or maybes. No questions asked.

So this Christmas, please don’t let your soul be the sacrificial lamb upon which everyone else feasts. If spending time with family is harmful, don’t do it. Decide how long you want to be somewhere and make your exit when you need to regardless of what they think or say you should do. Don’t buy expensive presents you can’t afford. Don’t feel you have to go to every party, drink every drink, drink any drink, stay late, get up early. Don’t agree to anything without checking in with yourself first.

You’re bloody wonderful and that shit needs nurturing and no one else is going to do that for you.

So go and rock out with your baubles out, give yourself the gift of kindness and screw the rest.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.