Last week I went to the live recording of the first ever episodes of The Hotbed Collective podcast…due out in the New Year. If you’ve never heard of The Hotbed Collective…well, that’s what I’m here for.The HBC is a ‘coming’ together of three women pissed off that sex for women, especially women who have busted out a kid or two, is on the verge of extinction. A bit like this stuff:
Trust me when I tell you, it won’t be long before The Hotbed Collective is on the tip of everyone’s tongue (wherever and whatever you might be doing with that tongue).
Cherry Healey, Anniki Somerville and Lisa Williams describe the website as ‘Sex Tips for Women’ but it’s so much more than that. As they say,
❝We are making life better one orgasm at a time. Because sexual adventure has got to be about more than penis pasta on a hen night. Please, god, let it be more.❞
The Hotbed Collective is all about talking about sex in a way that isn’t silly, gossipy and a bit uncomfortable. It’s about providing a free space to ask questions, get advice, read other people’s stories and experiences. Put simply, sex for women (and the distinct lack of it) is something we are brushing under the carpet; we’re not talking about the absence of it, the crap state of it, the lack of confidence we have with it and we are definitely not talking about the lack of motherfucking orgasms. We are looking at one another assuming the other is having mind-blowing sex on a regular basis and we’re not.
Well, from my experience, not many of us mamas are having sex that regularly at all, mind-blowing or not.
The live podcast was a chance for women to get together and be open and honest about their sex lives. Much hilarity came from the gorgeous @bookofmum – comedienne, radio show host and all round delicious human. God I hope someone recorded her song at the end…I didn’t I was too busy holding onto my pelvic floor.
Life changing information came from, Dr. Karen Gurney a.k.a. The Sex Doctor (@thesexdoctor) who talked about the MYTH that women will feel horny without any kind of indication or stimulation of sex. Which means that if you thought you just had a low (read: no) sex drive then you’re wrong. NEWSFLASH: women generally don’t walk around each day feeling the need to have sex. It doesn’t take much to get us in the mood – a good snog and a bum grab usually works – but without any stimulation women will rarely feel the need to have sex.
So, you know, you’re not broken.
Also, we don’t much talk about masturbation. For men, it’s considered a right of passage. Which mum of boys hasn’t mentally prepared themselves for the day they find crispy socks stuffed under the bed? How often do we talk about the natural, sexual, self-discovery of girls and women? Not very often, let me tell you. Vibrators are naughty, slightly dirty things that we banish to the same pigeon hole as porn, nose picking and fanny farts: everyone does it, we just don’t like to admit to it.
Well, The Hotbed Collective is all about talking (there’s no need to ‘admit’ anything here…nothing is wrong) about all of the above and more. From bondage to bum sex…there are no boundaries. It’s about getting couples in long term relationships rampant again with or without rabbits. It’s about dispelling myths, eliminating embarrassment and empowering women to take control of their sex lives.
The Hotbed Collective podcast will go live in the new year. Go follow them now on Instagram for more details.