OK, so I’m at that point in pregnancy where I’m done. I’m over it. I’m hating almost every moment I have to spend being pregnant. My husband isn’t just sick of hearing me whinge, moan, groan and creak with every movement, he’s also questioning my desire for another baby. Apart from the fact that it’s a bit bloody late to be asking those questions, I’m not whingeing about the baby. I’m whingeing about the pregnancy. I’m like a four year old staring into the oven waiting (not so) patiently for the cake to be cooked. I can’t bloody WAIT for the baby to come but the cooking bit? Stick a motherfunking fork in me; I’m done.
Having said all that, the past week has been pretty good for making me feel like the end is nigh. I have officially switched on the light at the end of my baby-ejection tunnel. First up, the birth pool arrived. After asking around and getting advice I went to the lovely people at Birthpool in a Box. Within 24 hours the pool was in my possession along with an electric pump (my husband sighed a huge breath of relief), various attachments for the hose-to-kitchen-sink issue, a rather unsexy (but obviously essential) plastic floor covering, a seive (bleurgh) and amazingly, a pump that empties all the juices afterwards. This was particularly pleasing because up until that point, I’d had visions of Jimmy Plays Bass having to siphon it all out with a quick suck on the end of a hose…you know that’s NEVER going to end well.
After doing nothing with the pool for about a week , I finally decided I should make sure it wasn’t riddled with holes and that it fit in the living room. In no less than 5 minutes the electric pump had blown up the birth pool and, incidentally, it did it without any of the whingeing that my husband did when presented with a lilo on holiday. There were no punctures (although there’s a super handy puncture kit just in case, because having to watch your husband fix a puncture while you’re in labour is obviously going to be a right laugh!) and while it was snug, it did fit. Which was nice.
The birth pool from www.birthpoolinabox.co.uk was quickly delivered and so easy to put up. FOR 10% off all products use code
Project home birth preparation was underway.
The next thing that happened was that my midwife came around. After an approving nod towards the Birthpool In A Box (“It’s the best one to get…” she said reassuringly) she dropped off the birth bag. This is basically a bag full of bed pads and various tricks and tools that the midwife needs during the home birth. As I look at that bag now, tucked under the coffee table in the living room, I can’t help but get a little excited at the fact that this is actually happening. Not right now, obviously, but sooner rather than later, I’m going to ejecting a small human in a pool of water three inches from where I currently sit. If it all goes to plan of course, which is almost laughable when you think about it.
So, with all this happening and with the lingering thought that my first Small came at 38 weeks I’m ready and waiting to go. Oh lord…I really hope I’m not two weeks late with this one. I’m not sure I can cope.
Now, where’s the raspberry leaf tea and nipple stimulation at?