I’m not totally against getting fat when pregnant. I mean, I don’t love seeing cellulite appear on my thighs, arms, ears and last time I checked, I wasn’t growing a human in my ass so I’m not entirely sure why that’s getting bigger as well, but in general, I’m at peace with the reality that my body is currently hijacked and out of my control. I’m not going to be pregnant for ever and, if I’m honest, there’s only so many packs of fizzy strawberry laces I can eat before all my teeth fall out so, when that happens, my weight will probably level out a little. But, the one thing that really, really pisses me off is that the fashion industry is still struggling to help me brand this new bodacious, curvaceous, human building bod.
I’m really struggling to find anything that both camouflages the fact that I’m a slightly smaller version of Daddy Pig and looks even vaguely cool. I’ve gone beyond searching for maternity versions of my usual style. Instead, I’m reduced to sourcing long lycra tops (no one wants a flash of vein-streaked preggo belly) and cardigans because, quite simply, I don’t have to do them up. I’m reduced to two pairs of maternity jeans – one black and one blue – that I’m recycling from last time that are starting to show unhealthy signs of being less ‘stretch’ and more ‘sag’.
ASOS and H&M are my go to maternity shops. I’m not into spending heaps of cash on clothes that I’m going to wear for five months, especially when I’m pretty sure this is the last human I’m going to push out of my love tunnel. ASOS is great for standout maternity pieces – statement dresses and such like – but not so hot on day to day stuff that I can throw on and not feel like a pregnant high-schooler. While I love H&M’s regular lines, it seems that their maternity section is made up by members of the local WI. It’s all stripes and spots and just a hop, skip and a jump away from being dry-wipe.
Remember that revolution that happened in changing bags? The one where we all complained about naff-all options for the discerning, style-conscious mama and then people like Tiba+Marl came along, and suddenly we were all styled up and feeling hot? Well, can someone do this with maternity clothes and not slap a crazy price tag on them? I’d do it myself but between the blog, The Small, the baby and the business, I’m struggling to find time to shag my husband let along launch another project.
So, ladies, this is my plea. Help a sister out. Tell me where I can find some decent stuff that doesn’t make me feel like I’m compromising on style, personality and comfort. Any tips and tricks you’ve got, send them my way. Otherwise I’m going to have to start going to work meetings in my jammies and heading out to social stuff in, well, my jammies.