While we all rely on CBeebies for five minutes peace, it’s worth being wary. While it may look all jolly and bouncy, there are some serious psychological implications associated with getting down with the kids and watching it. So, take my advice. Leave the kids to it, pour yourself a drink, and hang out on Instagram for a while…for your own sake.
The Waybaloos will serve only to remind you of all the yoga you are not doing and make you question whether you sound like that when you’re drunk (and a bit sad).
One day, not long from now you’ll forget to turn it off once the channel has ‘closed’ only to be rudely awoken by that fucking wake up song at 6am when it returns to life.
Andy Day is actually Fatima Whitbread. Once you see it, you can never unsee it.
You’ll hear this guy’s real accent and feel genuinely betrayed for all the times you got all fizzy-knickers over him on Homeland.
You know your Small idolises Mr. Tumbles in a way that resembles your 80s love affair with Michael Jackson but you wouldn’t leave him alone with your kids. Much like Michael Jackson.
Sarah and Duck has the worst theme tune ever. EVER.
You’ll have to sit and watch your husband drool pathetically when this happens.
You’ll watch In The Night Garden and be forced to remember how much more bearable life was when you could get really stoned and/or really drunk. Life made more sense then.
As if the ‘Wheels on the Bus…’ running round your head all day isn’t bad enough, CBeebies will ruin your evening as well with “The time has come to say goodnight…”