HOW TO // Kick The Shit Out Of Father’s Day

Buying things for Him is really hard. I mean like, Trigonometery hard. Now that we’ve got to add Father’s Day to the gift-buying calendar, I’m loosing sleep over the whole frickin’ thing. Finding two gifts a year (Christmas and birthday) was stressful enough, but now I have to find another, even better, more perfect gift and the pressure is REALLY on because it’s not even from me. It’s from the apple of his eye and the fruit of his loins and if I get it wrong I LET THEM BOTH DOWN.

So Small-Havers…here’s my guide to kicking the shit out of Father’s Day this year.

You’re welcome.

1. CHEESE

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Let’s face it, who doesn’t like cheese? No one. That’s who. But do you know who REALLY likes cheese? Yep, that’s right. Dads (unless they’re lactose intolerant of course…in which case, best stay away from cheese, but you probably knew that already). If you’re going to go the cheese route, then you can’t do better than Neal’s Yard Dairy which is online and will actually send you real life cheese GIFT BOXES through the motherfunkin’ post. Yup. YOU READ IT HERE FIRST.

2. GROOMING

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If, like me, you’re married to the gayest-straight man you’ve ever know you’ll know that grooming products will ALWAYS go down a treat. For beards hit up Amazon for this awesome beard/stache cutting gadget which won’t stop you having to clean up the hairs left all over the bathroom, but will probably mean that your man’s facial foliage avoids the look of the Amish. Add to that the wonderful Beardsley Ultra Shampoo (let’s face it, they get a lot of shit stuck in there) and He’ll be a happy bearded man.

No beard? Then head to Selfridges and shop the awesome Hanz de Fuko range…especially the pomade (I know, I don’t know what a pomade is either). Other great brands for male grooming include American Crew, Gentleman’s Tonic, Murdock….and heaps and heaps of others.

3. READING

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I buy GQ magazine more now than I buy Vogue (ok, ok, I bought this month’s issue because it had delicious David Beckham on the cover) but I love it and He will too. Right now you can get 6 issues for just £15 which is a bargain in anyone’s magazine. But if GQ isn’t his thing then here’s my top three magazine subscriptions for the more discerning gentleman:

 

1. Little White Lies

Screen Shot 2015-05-27 at 20.39.31If your fella’s into film then this is the rag for him. Covers are ace and totally collectable and a pile of them next to any loo will raise your toilet-cred by at least ten points. Plus, it’s a little, indie magazine set up and they are passionate about what they watch so no sponsored bullshit.

2. Granta
Screen Shot 2015-05-27 at 20.40.03For the more intellectual man, Granta is a kick-ass quarterly magazine that brings together art, journalism, literature, philospophy and popular culture all around a different theme each issue. It’s an uber interesting compilation of essays and articles that will fill those tube ride and bedtime reading sessions perfectly. Ack…who are we kidding? They’ll totally love reading it while they have a poo.

 

3. Monocle
Screen Shot 2015-05-27 at 20.41.29Monocle is the mag for the guy who wants to know everything. With reporting from the ground in over 100 countries covering everything from food, fashion, style, travel…he’ll want this wrapped and stuck under his Father’s Day tree. FO SHIZZ.

 

 

4. SOCKS (BY SUBSCRIPTION!)

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OK…so I know that socks have a whiff (excuse the pun) of the ‘old-skool’ about them when it comes to gifts on Father’s Day but TRUST ME when I tell you…there are some awesome companies making some wicked socks out there and He will adore you for them. My top pick is the achingly cool, new kid on the block Form and Thread. Not only can you ‘just buy socks’ from them (obvs) but you can also SUBSCRIBE. I’m not even joking. Every three months, they’ll deliver three more pairs of foot-shaped fabulousness to your door meaning you don’t have to run out and buy a job lot of black socks. These socks take care of themselves. Now, THAT’s socks for you.

5. TECH

Screen Shot 2015-05-27 at 21.05.05If all else fails, and you just want to throw money at the problem then go tech. Wireless headphones, Go-Pro cameras, Apple TV, iWatch, anything laser guided, tools, projector…you name it, if it’s expensive and needs plugging in, or regular charging, they’ll be happy.

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